Mother Fucker...Scum Bag!

Dear [ebay Seller]

you ripped me off mother fucker...scum bag

-[removed]

 *****************

LOL What can I say? He's a man of few (and very strong) words.

Happy Friday y'all.

Why the Heck Does it Take So Long?

Hi there,
            My name is [removed] and I am replying to the email that was sent to me on Thursday, 2-10-2011, stating that a refund had been issued to my account, it's been 5 days and there is still no refund in my account. I paid to ship it back to you, so I expect a FULL refund of the money that you took out of my account,The balance taken from my account was 69.84, and I am waiting on the money to come so I CAN get my new phone, which you have so kindly kept me from getting. The money was taken out of my account within ten minutes of my order being placed, so i ask you, why the hell does it take so long to put it back? This matter should have been resolved already and it has taken long enough. You sold me a junk phone, own up to your mistake and give me my money back, why does this have to be so difficult? Its a no brainer, not a think thru decision, I really hope you can get this back to me soon because I need it, I don't have thousands laying in my bank account, every cent matters and your holding me up. I am not trying to be rude but this is kind of rediculous.

****************

Dear sir:

Our return policy clearly states you pay for the return shipping, and that we do not refund shipping fees. Not only is it on the website, but also on the Return Form you filled out to send the item back. That aside, the phone you sent back wasn't even defective! I do admit we sell shitty phones sometimes, but--no. This time it was all you; I personally played with your phone and the reason stated for return? FALSE.

So, you have a problem about the time frame of your refund showing up in your bank account? I could give two shits. I don't work for them and couldn't tell you when it will be there. I do suggest you call them up and hash it out with them.

You know what? "Your" right, this *is* "rediculous". I'm so over this.

Have a good weekend!

Deena

Don't Like it? Don't Buy!

Subject: price

Ineed a used or refurbished motorola razr z3xx. But your prices are twice as high as ebay. Would rather buy from at&t because of the reliability.  DEPEND ON MY CELL PHONE A LOT. Am disabled and would not dare leave home without my cell.Fixed income will not allow me to buy a Motorola razr z3xx from you. please adjust your prices.


********************


If you can get the item cheaper on eBay, by all means, do so. Why bother to email and complain about our prices? We don't price match. Odds are if you *do* buy it on eBay, you might be buying it from us anyway.

Back in the day I had a customer like this. Called and made a big stink about our prices, then emailed us to gloat about getting it cheaper on ebay... guess who he bought it from?



LOL

Here We Go Again...

Subject: samsung

I just recived a cell phone from you.It was sapposed to be brand new. It looks new yet it did not have a oweners manual in the box.I tried to call you about my delema.But it seems that your business is so good that you do not have towork a full day on fridays. God bless you. I am upset that you may not read this untill Monday morning.Ihave no Idea how to work this phone am I sapossed to guess at it. I will probly return it on Monday.

************

It seems English/spelling FAIL still continues.

I emailed the customer, but they probably returned the item already. Unauthorized returns are a pain in the ass, mainly because a high percentage of them put no identifying information in the box, so I have to Nancy Drew everything :/

Warning! Learning Curve: Slippery When Dumb

To Whom It May Concern,

I placed an order for one Motorola Backflip on January 27th. I received the device on February 4th and after a few days have decided this is not the product I originally believed it to be. While the handset is one of high quality, it exceeds my expectations and causes more grief and confusion than anything else. I simply cannot grasp the learning curve associated with this device and wish to return it. There is nothing wrong with the device and considering the time span of which I've possessed it, I see no reason why it can't be returned. Thus I'm emailing you folks so that I can receive a Return Authorization (RA) Form and send this device back to you.

************************

I was ROFL when I read this one. What I wonder is this: what did she "originally believe it to be"? An iPhone? A RAZR? What?

I bought a vibrator, and it wasn't what i originally believed it to be, but I made the most of it *rimshot*

This phone isn't ridiculously hard to use... it's pretty intuitive actually. Hell, my mom has a G1, and she learned to use it within a week or two. People are lazy and don't *want* to learn.

She can return it for a refund -20% *shrugs*

English FAIL Week Draws to a Close...

Subject: Order shipped 

Woops...sorry I returned it today by PM without getting RMA# because I did not want to hold anylonger. It's so important for me that as soon as I found the item was not what I wanted, I supposed to returne.

I had just wanted to replace my phone since mine is broken, and can't cancle due to 2yr contract. However, the one I ordered thr your website, I missed it wasn't available to T-mobile. So, the sam card did not fit into the one I got.

Please I already requested for exchange with something else, and the one I shipped today. Please understand and help me with it.

Thanks
SOON <=== is this a name or....??? I haven't a clue so I left it :/

******************

This has been declared English FAIL Week, as a good amount of the emails chosen were... well, poster boards for ESL school enrollment. Everyday (almost without fail!) I get some non English speaking person (or two or...) to call and harass me. The ones that get me the most are the Spanish speaking ones, and the Indian sounding ones.

• The Spanish ones ALWAYS ask "you aspeekay espanol?" When told no, they get an attitude and demand to speak to someone who speaks Spanish, When told there is no one, they hang up in a huff.
• The Indian ones are always rude.... especially if you tell them you cannot understand them, or to repeat something they said. I had a guy start yelling at me when I (nicely) asked him to repeat what he was looking for. I gathered he yelled something about his English being "good like you" XD

Learn some fucking English. All of you.

Now, before I get angry comments and emails screaming nationalism/racism/other -isms, I want y'all to know something: I am a first generation American. I'm the daughter of two immigrants whose first language was *gasp* SPANISH. Goddamn it, if my parents can come here and learn proper English, raise three kids to speak only English...why can't these disparaged mofos?

How fair is it for you (general you) to come here and demand to be catered to in your native language?? You think I could go to YOUR country and demand everyone speak to me and help me in English? Of course not! So why do people come here expecting that courtesy? If you make a conscious decision to live somewhere, learn the language or GTFO. //rant

OK, Seriously.... WTF??

Subject: leeter  

hey bay 2 phones this no work bay in decenber

**********************

.....

I'll make a hat for the person who deciphers this for me.

In the meanwhile, I emailed them to ask for clarification. I'll keep you posted.

Too Bad, So Sad...

Subject: No Subject

Just wanted to express that i will never order from you guys again or recommend you to anyone else.  I have ordered merchandise online from many companies as i do a lot of ordering online.  I think the 20% restocking fee is a rip off. In addition you also charged for the shipping.  As a parent with children i know i will need to order other phones i already have a company that wants to keep their customers happy by having policies that are more reasonable.

********************

This customer bought a Sidekick and wanted to use it with AT&T. The listing clearly stated that the item was locked to T-Mobile, but they decided they could get it unlocked for their provider.

Umm, NOT.

So they returned the item for a refund. We CLEARLY state that all non defective returns are subjected to a 20% restocking fee and we do not refund shipping. This is mentioned on the website, as well as the return authorization form they are required to fill out and send back with the item. If you didn't read it, too bad for you. I try to be reasonable and fair, but...really? It's not like this came out of nowhere--- you were warned about this.

Let this be a lesson to you all: buyer beware. Read the fine print, read the return policy BEFORE committing to a purchase... not just online, but in brick-and-mortar stores too.

...There isn't a Title Good Enough for this One....

Subject:  PENDING ORDER  

PLEASE CANCEL MY ORDER NOW.  I CALLED MY CREDIT CARD CUSTOMER SERVICE AND I HAVE $900 DOLLARS AVAILABLE.  I AM NEARLY BLIND FROM A RECENT BRAIN SURGERY AND THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH STRESS FOR ME. SORRY I PLACED THE ORDER  WITH YOU...    

****************
Backstory:

This customer attempted to place an order, but the order was declined. There are ususally two reasons cards are declined by our card processor: an address error, or you'se a broke bitch.

She fit into the latter category.

It gives a "general decline" message and tells you to tell the customer to contact their credit card/bank. I replied (in a polite manner of course) explaining she needed to contact her bank and that's what I got. *shrugs*

Umm, Wut? UPDATE

So after deciphering what the customer was trying to say, it seems like they returned an item to us without return authorization. I sent them an email stating we don't accept unauthorized returns.

Here is their response:

****************************

Subject:     Return

I'm worried because they send before the cell phone and not send the completed form along
with the package is a copy of my receipt and the reason why l return.

Please pay me and if you send me the package back again. Why not send the completed form l
have to pay again to return it again sorry for this little problem when they take the package in the mail.
Had not yet received your message along with the way l had to send and there is another problem the
address to send it was to this l'm going to white:

[Address removed]

And the EMail l received from you is: [removed]

(Please can give me solucion)

And l'm Sorry for incovenience and thank them for answering my EMail.

****************************

Yeah.  What they said... whatever that may be. *HEAD DESK*

Umm, Wut? O_o

Hello

1/16/2011 Sorry day they send phone and l could not sent me by EMail.


          Please l can do if you only sent a copy of the order number when l made the purchase of cell,
and the reason why l return. Sorry for send the packing.


If necessary, l can mail the form just tell me

                             Thank you for your attention

 ******************

 The email was formatted just like this....

I don't know what the customer was attempting to say... I sent an email asking for clarification. I'll post an update when I get a reply -__-

DEFINATELY Discouraging

Subject: defective pantecp7000

I WANTED TO MAKE SURE THAT YOU ARE AWARE OF TJHIS PIECE OF ---- PHONE THAT I ORDERED IN AUGUST.  I SHOULD HAVE RETURNED IT A.S.A.P. WHEN I BEGAN HAVING PROBLEMS. I AM NOW SEEING A N ON SCREEN NOTICE TO INSERT SIM CARD( THERE IS A SIM CARD ALREADY INSERTED) I ASKED REP.@AT&T TO CHECK IT OUT AND WAS TOLD THE PHONE WAS DEFECTIVE.  I ALSO WANTED TO MENTION THAT AT&T OFFERS THESE PHONE FOR ONLY $99. WITHOUT A 2 YEAR CONTRACT. SO I GOT TOOK FOR MY MONEY.  NEVER AGAIN AND I WILL DEFINATELY DISCOURAGE OTHERS TO ORDER FROM [company name removed]


**************

Wow... where do I start with this one?


The raging caps and glaring spelling errors aside... you wait almost 6 months to contact us about your defective item?!?


Too bad, so sad.

Furthermore (re: price of item), it's not our problem you didn't shop around before buying... but I don't recall seeing this item on the AT&T site anywhere. This model is like almost three years old now. They barely have phones from '09 still.

Just saying.

Wal-mart > USPS?

To Whom It May Concern:

I ordered a phone from you back in June of 2010 and I never received it. So I bought a phone from someone else.I will be returning the phone that you sent me untouched with no broken seal on the package. I have photographed the box as I received it and then marked the important information with yellow high lighter and again taken photographs. I do apologize for thinking you were not a reputable organization, but given the facts at the time it was in dispute. Now I am fully aware of where the problem initiated, the United States Post Office, I think more particularly the [city removed] Office. You sent it priority male with a tracking number, I hope it didn't cost you a lot, because I received it January 29, 2011, it only took, approximately one hundred and fifty five days for me to receive it. The Pony Express was faster. I do think Wal Mart Should take over the United State Post Office. Please contact me. I can send the photographs on request.

*************

Backstory:

This guy bought an item back in June. He said he never received it... the tracking number marked the item as being delivered, so there wasn't much we could have done on our end, since he didn't purchase insurance. [Honestly, even if he did, USPS would have given a hard time. Insurance only covered *lost* items. Items marked as delivered-whether received or not- are not considered lost. Fancy that.]

The customer quickly turned nasty; they filed a complaint with the BBB AND the NYS Consumer Affairs department, as well as a credit card dispute. He won the dispute, we (i.e me >__<) got nagged by the NYSCA, and he smeared our name all over the web (well, on ResellerRatings and some two-bit blog...).Then I get this email yesterday.

Isn't it funny how life works out?

Discrimination! (Not)

Customer: [in a rude tone] I'd like to place an order
Me: OK, are you having the item shipped to your confirmed billing address?
Customer: What? I want it shipped to my job!
Me: Unfortunately, if we take your payment over the phone, we can only have it shipped to your confirmed billing address. Otherwise you'll have to place your order online using---
Customer: [cuts me off] OK, whatever. I'll have it shipped to my house.

[I go through the usual spiel of asking for name, address, phone number.... and then I ask for an email address...]

Customer: {with an attitude] I don't have an email address. Or a computer.
Me: Hmm, unfortunately I need an email address to complete your order. The system won't let me proceed without one, as our customer accounts are email based.
Customer: WHAT?? THIS IS DISCRIMINATION! I want to speak to a supervisor!
Me: In regards to what, sir? This is standard for all----
Customer: {cuts me off] NO! This is NOT RIGHT! How DARE YOU treat me this way? Just because I don't have a computer you don't want to help me! This is RIDICULOUS!
Me: ....sir, all online companies require email addresses when placing an order because-----
Customer: [cuts me off again] I WANT A SUPERVISOR!


[I place him on hold. My boss happened to be passing by and heard the tail end, and heard the customer yelling. He's like "if he doesn't have a computer, how did he get our phone number, or know what we have in stock?" Indeed.]

Me: Sir, we'll just use a dummy email address to complete the order.
Customer: GOOD. [grumbles to himself]

[I confirm the information. I get to the part with the email address and tell him since I entered a dummy email address he would not receive confirmation once the item ships.]

Customer: ....Oh... well, I do have a computer, but ah... I don't have access to it.
Me: ...I see.


****************************

Yeah.

I really can't make this shit up, man.

Now What?

***********************************           
Subject:     unworking phone

i couldnt get through to you on the phone...no answer, kept on hold, the red verizon phone i ordered and received has a black screen and doesnt work!! certainly wont recommend you or your product to anyone, now what?

***********************************        

As I was answering this email, the customer calls.

She's pissy and angry... so I put her on hold (for one, I was making a label, and also... I wanted to annoy her a little bit. Nothing but Class-A service here! hehe). After listening to her yammer for 3 minutes straight, she mentioned that she just got the item yesterday and when they took it out the box it wouldn't turn on.

Hmm.

Me: Did you charge the phone once received?
Customer: [silence for 10 seconds] Well---I, uh, wasn't home when it came in. I opened it and tried to turn it on and--and the screen is blank. my granddaughter... uh, she... [silence]
Me: Ma'am, you need to charge the item before use. Sometimes the batteries aren't charged when we ship them, so it's always a good idea to charge your phone once received.
Customer: Oh. OK. I didn't know that. I'll go and charge it right away!
Me:...have a nice day ma'am.

No, We're Not a Cellphone Company

*****************************
Subject:  samsung onnia-i910 sch

i like to know if the phone be prepaid with out a doller a day take out im looking
for a touch screen that will take payment out of my cell every month. ty

*****************************

Really? Seriously?

No no no >__<

You cannot imagine how many emails I get asking for service... at least I think this email is asking for service... *reads again* Actually, I am not quite sure WHAT they're asking.... *shrugs*

Full o' Flounce (and a Threat too!)

************************************
Subject:     Re: ORDER [number removed]  

Isn't that always the way it is? My fish die the day after the return policy too.  Well sorry that you can't help but I can of course not purchase anything from you again, and  I do have friends on Facebook
But thanks anyway.

One discouraged customer!

************************************
 LOL I love when they threaten.

This customer was trying to return an item two months after her return policy expired. She actually called and spoke to me and I politely told her our policy was 30 days. She sounded a bit miffed and asked if there was anyone else she could speak to... when I told her I was the return specialist she hung up on me.... and emailed to complain.

I emailed her back and this was her response. *eyeroll*

Loved the sarcasm though... and I feel sorry for any fish she's ever bought. Just saying.

Throuugh Your Own BS in There

Happy new years folks!

I'm so sorry about the lack of posting. The holiday season came and whoosh! I was busy as a bee!

Then I got lazy.

No worries! I now have enough emails to post for at least a month straight! *yayyyyy*

Alright, enough chit-chat! You came to read about those Crazy Ass Customers, right?

[Please note that nothing was changed in this email. All grammar, syntax, and spelling are in its original form. Like I'd change such a gem!]

***************************************

Subject: samsung

u sent me the omnia with old software, verizon wont upgrade it, and i takes over an hour on there slow network, witch i keep loosing connection. i got screwed again. products should only be shipped with the newest software . not sure how i will proseed, looking in to att. really getting tired of all the bs on a phone. bill gate, verizon, and samsung. shit u should throuugh your own bs in there.  any thing for a buck. kurt

****************************************

(For once) this wasn't our fault. We don't update the software, we just sell the crappy phones. Tough shit for you, buddy. Although I *did* think him lumping us in with Bill gates and Verizon pretty funny, this was just...no. NO.

I'm all for ranting and raving, but here are a few pointers for you, dear:

1. Use your spell check: It's your friend! At the very least it will help make you a little bit more understandable... at least spelling-wise. Just saying.
2. Do your research #1: If you're gonna reference famous people, get their names right. Oh, and proper nouns are ALWAYS capitalized.
3. Do your research #2: If you're busying a used/refurbished phone, you should make sure to Google it. Find out more information about it; such as if there is a current software release, will your carrier update it for you/can you update it yourself, what data plans (if applicable) are needed...etc. These kinds of issues account for almost HALF of my daily phone calls.

Hope you all learned something from these tips :)