I Order Oral Unlocked Cell Phone...

Here's a doozy for your Friday enjoyment:

*****

Subject: (no subject)

I order new v550 mot oral unlocked cell phone on6/14/10. paid 49.85 s&h 9.99 total 59.84
can't get the phone download e-mail o live gprs is not connected. The charger will not work. Plug in  something green light up states unable to charge. Only thing I can do with this phone is call and that not I paided 59..84 to do.

 thanks in advance

****
[original spelling and syntax intact... O__o]

...after the initial laughin fit, I attempted to find this customer. They put no name, no order number, and I couldn;t find their email address in my system. I emailed them back asking for this information, and have not heard back *shrugs*

No skin off my nose... one less return for me to process I guess.

The lesson folks?? No order information + bad English= FAIL

Have a good weekend!! :D

Overnight Shipping on Fridays Always Provide Entertainment...

Good afternoon!

I had a question regarding the Palm Centro your site offers capable for Verizon Wireless...

I wanted to know if I would have to update my Verizon plan to include Data. This isn't a problem, I just didn't know how that would work when I received the phone as far as updating went. Also, if I order the phone on Friday morning and pay for overnight shipping, will the phone definitely be at my house by Saturday evening
even though Saturday technically isn't a business day?

If someone could please respond to this today before I order tomorrow, that would be
much appreciated. Or, if it's easier, you can call me at the number provided below. Thanks so much for your time!

****

Well, he was well spoken, I'll give him that much credit.

But you answered your own fucking question.... NO NO NO. If Saturdays becomes a business day (Goddess forbid!!) then you'll get it on Saturday. Until then, Next Business Day (on a Friday) means MONDAY. Also, the listing states that Verizon will NOT activate the item without a data plan, so what do you think that means??? YES you'll have to upgrade to a data plan!!!!

OMGWTFBBQ FUCKING LEARN HOW TO READ COMPREHENSIVELY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fuckers.

Broken Record Much? Or, "Did You Even Read My Damn Reply??!??"

Subject: BB 9530

I purchased a Blackberry Storm 9530 from you was told it had a 1 year warrenty. I needed to talk to someone in regards to getting a replacement due to the phone jack not working..I can't use my ear peice while in the car. Can anyone help me.. My name is [name removed]... Thankyou...

*****

 Dear customer:

 We only offer a 30 day return policy. An extended warranty can be purchased from
SquareTrade, a third party company who sells warranties for our products.

 Thank you,

Customer Service

*****


Subject: RE: FEEDBACK: BB 9530

If you check your records I believe I had a extened warrenty for 2 years
in which i payed for..  Do you have the warrty info...

*****

Dear Customer:

If you purchased a warranty, you'll have to contact SquareTrade for assistance, as they are a third party company and we are not affiliated with them.

Thank you,

Customer Service

*****


Can you send me the membership ID number for the warranty that
I purchased thru your company so I can file a claim with the warrenty
company..  My name is [name and number removed]

*****

....there are no words.

How Rude! (Indeed...)

Subject: RE: New Coupon Codes!

I ORDERED A PHONE FROM YOU, BUT I DID NOT GET MY 5.00 DISCOUNT. PLEASE CHECK INTO THIS AND LET ME KNOW WHY. [name and address removed]

*****

Dear customer:

If you had a promotional code, you were supposed to use it while placing the order. It does not come off automatically.

Thank you,

Customer Service

*****

Subject: RE: New Coupon Codes!

HOW RUDE. Dont you think I tried that? It wouldnt work for me, thats why I emailed you so that you could deduct the five dollars there where you take my money. You sent me an email with the discounts and offers, yet when I tried to apply this to my purchase it would not work. This was the second phone I had bought from you, however it will now be my last. If this is how you treat your customers, I will not buy from you again.

*******

I checked her order, and she ended up buying a phone that was less than $50 (you have to but a phone for at least $50 for the coupon code to have worked, you see...), which is why the code didn't work.  And yes, the insert and email clearly states the price limitation. But do these customers ever fucking read? *ahem*

I need your opinion, dear readers.... was I being rude?? I don't think I was being rude, but I may be mistaken.... ok, maybe I was a little bit abrasive. 

I am just tired of these dumb ass questions... the coupon codes are always a pain in the ass---especially when we have special promotions. There's a dark grey bar in the shopping cart of the site. Most people see it and it's no problem... but you know there always has to be some dumbasses to not see it and make my life a living hell. For goddess' sake, our "add to cart" is a big, bright green button in every listing and without fail (at least once a day!!) I get an email or phone call asking if an item is in stock because they don;t see how to add it to their cart!!!

I need a vacation.

I Want ALL Me Money Back!!

Yes, it's been awhile... not to worry, I have been saving up stuff for the site! I have some dowtime at work right now, so I can post more often (yayyyy!)

For today's gem: a two hour email volley!

**************


Subject: Order shipped

HI I ordered a cell phone almost 2 weeks ago. I still haven't recieved my phone, it says it is in New York again, and I am in Chicago.  I tracked it and it was at post office in chicago a few days ago, I just want to know whats going on if i dont get my phone in a few days i  want a refund!!!!!!!!!!! Im very pissed off and I will not tell anyone to get phones from you guys!

*****

Dear customer:

According to the tracking information, USPS had a problem with your address, so the item is being mailed back to us. Once we receive it, we will issue a refund.

Thank you,

Customer Service


*****

Subject: Re: Order shipped

Cant you just resend it to me? My address again is 1930 w 183rd st Unit 2 Homewood IL 60430.   What was the problem with my address?

*****

Dear customer:

We are not certain; that's the information USPS said about the tracking number. We'll know more once we receive the package back.

If you want it reshipped, there is a fee for this, as we sent it to the address as you confirmed.

Thank you,

Customer Service

*****

Subject: Re: Order shipped

That is bullshit no i dont want you to send me the phone im not paying for anything else i want my money back and im calling the Better Business Bureau  and reporting this!!! I think this is a scam, i better get ALL me money back get rid of all my information!!! I knew i shouldn't have trusted you guys enough to send you money!!! I am very pissed off and i am going to write things all over the Internet and tell people how you guys are just a big scam!!!!!! Oh and I get things sent to my house from the internet all the time so there is nothing wrong with my address i think that is part of your scam!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  You will be receiving emails from me untill i get ALL my money back!!!!!!!!! And ill be calling!!!! 

***************

The customer called (of course!) shortly thereafter... turns out she transposed the numbers in her street address.... luckily for her it wasn't an address that existed and they sent it back to us. She ended up paying the re-ship fee and I haven't heard from her since *whew*