Gone in 30 Minutes...

hello,

my name  is [Name removed]  i received my phone Wednesday 5-19-2010. i was very happy to see it in the mail box that soon. thank you!  when i opened the box i did not see any book to understand or explain  the phone to me, or any other papers to help me get started....i tried for about 30 minutes just to get it to come on, but was very unsuccessful in that area. so the happy is gone now .    is there some one that can help me in my frustration to get me happy with  my new investment.  please HELP me!!!!!!! my number is [number removed] on my old phone   thanks!  

[Name Removed]

************

Capitalization/punctuation was kept as is.

This customer ended up calling the next day after we got this email. As one might (accurately) predict, there was nothing wrong with the phone. He was pressing the End button to turn on the phone... this model had a dedicated power button...("these damn things... I get used to my other phone turning on this way I didn't think to check for another button!") I sent him a .pdf of the manual and he went on his way happily.

Old people and technology are so cute!! :P

I Wanna Shitch My Phone

Subject: return my phone

I wish to return this phone is very bulky, and out of date if it cannot be returned
I would rather shitch it for a black berry this phone takes for ever just to get it
to turn on it is very heavy and not ser friendly not at all what I expected

******************

....Yeah.

Dear customer:

Well, if you don't know proper spelling/syntax/punctuation/grammer, how the hell do you know the phone is out of date??? Especially since the phone is "not ser friendly" to you? You bought a phone that is less than two years old... that's as modern as most of out phones go.You think a more "modern" phone would be better for you? Nah, I think you should keep what you have. You'd be better off with a simple phone like a RAZR (or if you're old, a Jitterbug). Leave the Blackberrys and smartphones for people who can actually *use* them :P

Love,

Deena

Insipid Life, Complete with Run-ons!

I am so upset ,because life without a phone wich works can be insipid it is necessary and I demand my money back the poorly made product you sold me soon failed after its arrival, I cannot expresse the feelings of disapointment I feel at the moment I feel as if this is a scam I was hoping much more from your site,
[Name Removed]

****************
I was dying when I read this. Turns out this customer bought an Alltel phone when their service is AT&T. Thia happens all the time; I'm not sure if they mis-click the link, or just think that the name looks similar... I have no clue.

In any case {lemme school ya real quick], Alltel is a CDMA provider. CDMA providers (like Verizon/Alltel, and Sprint) require programming for the item to be hooked up to a customer's account. AT&T is a GSM carrier. They use a smart chip called a SIM card to activate service in a phone. GSM is more convenient because you can switch phones at anytime without having to contact your provider.

So you can see why this bereft customer cannot use their phone... it just ain't compatible.

I was shocked this one used such a $2 word as "insipid"... but it looks like they used a thesaurus... the rest of the email doesn't fit with the erudite word. Insipid is a word that describes most of my customers to a "T". Mayhap I should start using it more; especially in random emails to Customer Service reps.

Isn't it cute when they try to be smart?!?

If I Kiss Your Ass, Can I Return These Items?

Dear Customer Service,

Thank you so much for getting these phones to me so quickly.  You are awesome!!
Well done.

I on the other hand seem to have screwed up.  I did not read the fine print and
assumed that at the price shown that that I was purchasing just the phone.  Well I
made an ass out of myself.  IDtenT.
I inadvertently ordered 3 too many wall chargers for my phones.  Is there any
recourse, any way to return these?  This is totally my error; but $30 is almost
another phone!  Please advise me on what is the best thing to do.

Thank you for your excellent service and for your time and efforts on my behalf.

Take care,
[name removed]
"There is no right way to do a wrong thing"

*************************
That is exactly the way I got the email; the formatting is the same and everything.

Oookay, then.

In the listing for each phone, it clearly states that the phones come with (at minimum) the phone, charger, and battery. Most people who sell used phones sell them with these necessary accessories.

The common problem with my customers? They don't fucking READ. If this customer would have taken 30 seconds out of his time to just even SKIM the goddamn listing, he would have seen a bulleted list (in bold!) with what came with the phone.

At least he had the decency to be polite (and funny!)... aaaand a little ass kissing never hurts either :P

Back to the Future? [Update!]

Let me say that I am so so sorry I sent this e-mail to the company I had purchased a phone from not you.  Again please accept my apology. Unfortunatly the other company is not reputable and I am more than happy to tell you there name. [company name removed].

[Customer name removed]

*****************

LOL I figured it was something of the sort... otherwise, it would have been some kind of fraud or Goddess knows what. Look before you type, dammit *smh*

Apologetic Customer #1

Deena,

Thank you for talking to me, and I know I am getting on your nerves (I am sorry), I know you want me out of your hair.  I do appreciate your customer service.  Thak you and have a blessed day.

[Name removed]

***********
LOL this customer had been emailing every day since she returned her damn phone. I processed her return as soon as I came across it and even emailed her to let her know so she could leave me alone... and then I got this gem from her.

At least she knew she was being a pest and apologized for it :P

Uh, What?

This is an excerpt from our Return Request form. I usually send this to the customers that send me one-liners ("I need to return my phone.") with no information whatsoever--- no name/other identifying information or reason for return.

******************

9.  Please tell in great detail what the specific problem is. Most of the time, problems can be solved through troubleshooting and clearing up misunderstandings: . > Unfortionatly when my phone got chared and I knew it had power I threw away the Box that it came in.I didnt even get a chance to activated it before this happened. I would appreciated very much if you could help me with my problem. thank you very much.

*****************

OK, first of all, you didn't even answer the damn question. What is the problem? I didn't ask you for the shipping box... why the hell would I? Most people throw away the box when they get an item... if that's what your problem is, you don't need my help at all.

Second of all... what is chared? I am curious... I'm taking a stab in the dark to guess you meant "charge".
Yeah, I made this customer re-fill out the form, stating there was no clear reason for return.

I'm waiting for the reply with bated breath.

Buyer's Remose

(no subject)

I was referred to your website by an account representative from Sprint.  My husband needed a new phone and did not want to re-sign a contract.  He wanted a smart phone that he could use to link his business software to.  We ordered this phone for him thinking that it would be perfect.  When we got it, we realized that it is FAR too large to suit his needs and it will not link to his office software.  He used it for a few days and has given up on the idea of trying to get it to work for him.  He would just like to pick out a different phone that he can at least fit into his pocket.  We didn’t realize that this phone was from 2003 and would be so large since it is referred to as “new” on the website. We are not asking for a refund, we would just like to send the phone back and pick out another style that might suit his needs better.  And on a different note, if we had known that there would be a chance our request would be “denied” when there is a banner at the top of your website stating 30-day Return Policy, we would never have bought from this site in the first place.  To me that is very unethical and underhanded.

**********************

I love how people only read the return information after they've bought something, and then they wanna bitch about it. What's the point? Furthermore, people like this customer are the reason for the disclaimer if your return request is honored... that and the people who want to return items after like two months.

People need to be informed consumers... I cannot stress this enough. I would never buy anything blindly (with the exception of yarn; worst case scenario, I can sell/give it away with no issues). Electronics especially. If you were looking for a particularly sized phone:

1. Read the specifications. They tell you the exact dimensions of the phone
2. Do a Google search. Not only can you read what other people thought of the phone, but you can probably find a picture showing its actual size.

Just plain ignorance... and these ignorant fucks are the first ones to start complaining about things. I'll never understand it.

Back to the Future?

Subject: Cell phone I purchased   
Date:     Wed, May 26, 2010 21:09

I am not disappointed I am furious that you would sell a phone to me as 4.5 out of
5. This phone is junk! The back plate is a different color than the phone and it
doesn't even fit.  That is really great. My 3 year old child could figure out they
don't match.  I just wasted $75.00 and should have known better then to buy
something without seeing it. I would expect a FULL refund including pastage. If that
doesn't work for you then I will just call my bank and tell them this story and ask
them to reverse the charges.  I wish there was a website to rate you you can only
guess what my rating would be. There might be some people who don't mind keeping
their phone together with tape. I am not one of them.

***************************

Sounds like a standard complaint email, right?

Well...

This customer purchased the phone on the day she's complaining... meaning that short of teleportation, there is no possible way she could have received it yet. I did check to see if she had ever purchased another phone from us (nope. And even if she had, with this level of unhappiness, why would she re-order another phone??!??)

So I sent the following:

***************************

Dear customer:

According to the tracking information for your order, you haven't received
it yet, so I am a little confused about your email.

This order was placed on Wednesday, May 26 and was shipped out yesterday.
It's still in transit:

Label/Receipt Number: [removed]
Class: Priority Mail®
Service(s): Delivery Confirmation™
Status: Processed through Sort Facility

Your item was processed through and left our BETHPAGE, NY 11714 facility
on May 27, 2010. The item is currently in transit to the destination.
Information, if available, is updated periodically throughout the day.
Please check again later.

If you don't want your order, you can return it. Just let me know when you
receive it.

Thank you,

Deena


***************************

I have a feeling I'll be hearing back from this nutjob soon...

New Technology is a Killer...

Customer: I saw some of your phones on eBay I'd like to purchase.
Me: I'm sorry sir. You'll have to purchase the items through eBay.
Customer: Oh... I see. I can't purchase it over the phone with you?
Me: no sir, you have to pay for the items through eBay.
Customer: But I don't know any of the codes to get in!
Me:....
Customer: I guess I'll have to get one of my kids to do it for me. This new technology kills me!
Me:...Not a problem sir, have a good day.

***********

Old people and technology... always a disaster waiting to happen *smh*