Thursday, June 3, 2010

Buyer's Remose

0 comments
(no subject)

I was referred to your website by an account representative from Sprint.  My husband needed a new phone and did not want to re-sign a contract.  He wanted a smart phone that he could use to link his business software to.  We ordered this phone for him thinking that it would be perfect.  When we got it, we realized that it is FAR too large to suit his needs and it will not link to his office software.  He used it for a few days and has given up on the idea of trying to get it to work for him.  He would just like to pick out a different phone that he can at least fit into his pocket.  We didn’t realize that this phone was from 2003 and would be so large since it is referred to as “new” on the website. We are not asking for a refund, we would just like to send the phone back and pick out another style that might suit his needs better.  And on a different note, if we had known that there would be a chance our request would be “denied” when there is a banner at the top of your website stating 30-day Return Policy, we would never have bought from this site in the first place.  To me that is very unethical and underhanded.

**********************

I love how people only read the return information after they've bought something, and then they wanna bitch about it. What's the point? Furthermore, people like this customer are the reason for the disclaimer if your return request is honored... that and the people who want to return items after like two months.

People need to be informed consumers... I cannot stress this enough. I would never buy anything blindly (with the exception of yarn; worst case scenario, I can sell/give it away with no issues). Electronics especially. If you were looking for a particularly sized phone:
  1. Read the specifications. They tell you the exact dimensions of the phone
  2. Do a Google search. Not only can you read what other people thought of the phone, but you can probably find a picture showing its actual size.
Just plain ignorance... and these ignorant fucks are the first ones to start complaining about things. I'll never understand it.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Back to the Future?

0 comments
Subject: Cell phone I purchased   
Date:     Wed, May 26, 2010 21:09

I am not disappointed I am furious that you would sell a phone to me as 4.5 out of
5. This phone is junk! The back plate is a different color than the phone and it
doesn't even fit.  That is really great. My 3 year old child could figure out they
don't match.  I just wasted $75.00 and should have known better then to buy
something without seeing it. I would expect a FULL refund including pastage. If that
doesn't work for you then I will just call my bank and tell them this story and ask
them to reverse the charges.  I wish there was a website to rate you you can only
guess what my rating would be. There might be some people who don't mind keeping
their phone together with tape. I am not one of them.

***************************

Sounds like a standard complaint email, right?

Well...

This customer purchased the phone on the day she's complaining... meaning that short of teleportation, there is no possible way she could have received it yet. I did check to see if she had ever purchased another phone from us (nope. And even if she had, with this level of unhappiness, why would she re-order another phone??!??)

So I sent the following:

***************************

Dear customer:

According to the tracking information for your order, you haven't received
it yet, so I am a little confused about your email.

This order was placed on Wednesday, May 26 and was shipped out yesterday.
It's still in transit:

Label/Receipt Number: [removed]
Class: Priority Mail®
Service(s): Delivery Confirmation™
Status: Processed through Sort Facility

Your item was processed through and left our BETHPAGE, NY 11714 facility
on May 27, 2010. The item is currently in transit to the destination.
Information, if available, is updated periodically throughout the day.
Please check again later.

If you don't want your order, you can return it. Just let me know when you
receive it.

Thank you,

Deena


***************************

I have a feeling I'll be hearing back from this nutjob soon...

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

New Technology is a Killer...

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Customer: I saw some of your phones on eBay I'd like to purchase.
Me: I'm sorry sir. You'll have to purchase the items through eBay.
Customer: Oh... I see. I can't purchase it over the phone with you?
Me: no sir, you have to pay for the items through eBay.
Customer: But I don't know any of the codes to get in!
Me:....
Customer: I guess I'll have to get one of my kids to do it for me. This new technology kills me!
Me:...Not a problem sir, have a good day.

***********

Old people and technology... always a disaster waiting to happen *smh*

Monday, May 31, 2010

How to Drive Customer's Crazy

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In honor of Memorial Day [of course I'm working today :(], here's something that made me smile and giggle:

How to Drive a Customer Crazy
  •     Pretend you haven’t noticed they are there.
  •     Stay in first gear, especially when they are rushing.
  •     Let them overhear your personal phone call, and make no attempt to end it.
  •     Open late. Close early.
  •     Say “That’s not our policy.”
  •     Say “That’s not my job.”
  •     Say “I’m not allowed to do that.”
  •     Say “I have no idea.”
  •     Say “Are you sure that’s what you want?”
  •     Slouch. Chew Gum. Twirl your hair between your fingers.
  •     Give them a blank stare, or worse, roll your eyes.
  •     Fidget distractedly. Appear bored.
  •     Finish whatever other task you have at hand, while they wait for you to attend to them.
  •     Talk story with other employees. Laugh at an “inside joke” they are not privy to.
  •     Speak in a monotone. See how long you can go without smiling.
  •     Be late for their appointment or with their reservation.
  •     Take shortcuts with your service, saying “you don’t really need this part do you?”
  •     Make excuses.
  •     Have a quick comeback for every point they may wish to make with you.
  •     Offer mechanical, routine service that is so uneventful, so ordinary, that they expect to pull a number and listen for you to call out “Next!”
  •     Look at them with open disapproval or impatience.
  •     Speak so softly, or in such a rush, that they need to keep asking “What was that?”
  •     Give them directions so involved or confusing they have to write them down.
  •     Give them “scenic” directions that take them out of their way when they really wanted a shortcut.
  •     Ignore the very young and very old in the group, talking only to the ones you assume are the “responsible ones” – or the paying ones.
  •     Assume that all customers are the same, and you already know what they want.
...things I learned to do in retail :)

(excepted from: http://www.lifehack.org/articles/management/how-to-drive-a-customer-crazy.html)

Hope you non-working folks are having a good day :P

Friday, May 28, 2010

Never Can Be Too Careful

0 comments
Subject: getting phone

I there a chance your refurbished phone could come from someone who was a smoker, so that the phone had a smokey smell?   I'm looking for a phone for my daughter and she is hypersensitive to cigarette smoke.  Thanks

****************

OK, seriously... what the fuck?

I could understand if it were clothing, or something porous.... but hard plastic usually doesn't absorb smells that easily. I have personally bought used phones (and all sorts of used electronics...) and I never had a problem with smells. Hell, I'm a smoker, and I bet you $20 someone borrowing my phone would never know...

Besides, who really goes around sniffing electronics anyway??

I was really smacking my head when I read this one.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Impatient Much?

1 comments
Subject: Phone shipped

send that phone i need it yesterday

************

Subject: Re: Phone shipped

Not a problem, the item will be shipping out today.

Thank you.

Customer Service


************

Subject: Re: Re: Phone shipped


thank you yea its like not having a cell phone is when you dont have a house phone you cannot get hold of anybody as we have not had a house phone for years and i need to be calling work business etc lol ok anyways thank you

************

This customer placed his order right at the cutoff of orders for the day, luckily for them (~9:30-10AM).

At first glace, this just seems like an impatient customer... but think about it. If your only phone is a cell phone, and you lost/broke/whatever your phone and need one ASAP, why not buy one locally? It might cost more, but it's better than going without a phone for a few days....and then harassing the company you bought your item from to send it faster.

Just saying...

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Even Criminals Need Cellphones...

0 comments
I would like to buy one of your items listed for sell and was wondering if you would except a money order as my payment?let me explain I managed use bank that was under some kind of federal investigation for my annuity payments but I have gotten my annuity out of the bank and have not  another yet but I have perfect Ebay rating and am hoping you would be willing to except this form of payment form me since I have no other cards to use connected with my paypal account


*****************
This email had no subject, and no name, strangely...

Whatever the case was, this one was definitely shady. Like the title of the post says, even criminals need cellphones. We didn't answer him back though, 'cause I'll be damned if we're investigated because of this schmuck.

I didn't know whether to laugh at or feel sorry for this customer.... but then I shrugged and LMAO! Har. You can only imagine the Bleeding Heart Sally Struthers stories I've read over the years as to why we should either drastically reduce the price on phones, or arrange for shady payment methods.

They try so hard, they really do.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

I Know You're Not Open, But... #2

0 comments
Subject:     Shipping?

Hey, I ordered my phone at 12:45am and got over night shipping when would it get here? and would i have to sign for it?

***********

This customer placed their order on a Sunday...! *head desk*

Overnight shipping is the bane of my existence, especially for Thursday/Friday orders. Most people don;t seem to know that UPS's overnight is next business day, so if an overnight order is placed on a Thursday/Friday, they expect it on Saturday.

Nope.

They do deliver overnight on Saturday for an extra $20-$40. Most people would balk at that (our overnight is already steep...), so we don't bother to mention it.

What pisses me off the most about my customers is how uninformed they are. I think it's an individual's duty to be an informed consumer... why would you blindly buy something without knowing what it is?? This should be true all the time, but when you're shopping online this should be mandatory.

But then again... this blog would be obsolete if that happened... or would it? I've always been of the opinion that most people are stupid, so I don't think that even with the customers being informed citizens that it would make much of a difference ;)

Friday, May 21, 2010

The Racist 'Tard Strikes Again...

0 comments
Yes, he strikes again... this time with threat of (get this!) legal assistance! [wait a minute! I thought we blocked him?? WTF eBay??!??]

********************

Dear [eBay Seller],

look here fucker.... you had better goddamn respond to my messages ive spoken to my lawyer, and he agrees that your camel jockey ass owes me 2 free cell phones. so you need to reply for my shipping info. i await a repsonse from you before i have your ebay acct. cancelled. ive done it before, ill do it again... FUCKING RESPOND. and DO NOT relist..

- [name removed]

****************

My wishful reply:

Dear Dipshit,

Now seriously, why do you persist in this pointless assault? What lawyer worth his salt (and his license) would tell you such nonsense? Now you've threatened us too??!?? Well, my dear.... we're filing a claim with eBay to get your account suspended.... so I guess you'll have to get your racist kicks somewhere else.

I am oh-so tempted to put your eBay user name up... but as much as I don't like my job, I kinda need it so I won't.

I wonder how many other people you're threatened and coerced into getting free shit? Unluckily for you, I don't take this shit lightly (like my boss seems to).

People like you make me sick.

Get a life, asshole.

Love,

Deena

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Burnin' Holes in Mah Pocket!

0 comments
Dear [eBay Seller],

Hello! i just submitted an offer for this phone and i put together all the money i can for it so that i can send the money today. i know you are very busy so i appreciate your time and consideration very much!!! your reputation preceedes you already because i have been referred to you by your customers. anyways, there is no hurry to send it but i can pay right away as i have the money now. i am afraid that otherwise i may end up spending it on something else especially if it burns a hole in my jeans. anyways, if you accept the offer, i will pay today and it is for a RED one please. you will see the offer and will you accept a paypal payment now? you can send it the slowest and cheapest route too. or by horse and buggy works! THANK YOU again for your time and help! have a GREAT Weekend/Mother's Day/Cinco de Mayo etc! Take care! From a NY girl myself (White Plains...Brooklyn...LI; Stony Brook for some classes mostly, then CA???! Dont ask! Ha! I MISS HOME! Most Sincerely, [name removed]

- [crazy ass customer]

*************

...ooook, then. Talk about bad money management skills... and crazy, to boot. I for one am GLAD this customer has relocated, because she seems like the type to pop up here. We've had a few customers pop up here... hilarity ensues, I tell ya. Maybe another time I'll share that :P

Oh. The customer ended up buying the phone.... stay tuned, as I have a feeling we might hear back from her...
 

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