No Sex in Your (Email)?

This series of emails was the inspiration for this blog.

They had me and my co-worker crying with laughter. I hope you'll enjoy it as much as we did.

(Please note that the original spelling/capitalization/grammar/syntax was kept unless clarification was truly needed.But hell, these imperfections add to the hilarity, so I didn't change a thing in this one :P)

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Subject: Brought same phone 3 times

Greetings

 Feb 24th 2010 I went on line and ordered a Blackberry 8130 Pearl. i TRIED TO ORDER ON MY CHECKING ACCOUNT GOT SWITCHED TO pAYPAL AND DID NOT GET A CONFIRMATION # SO WENT TO MY CHECKING ACCOUNT NO CONFIRMATION # THEN GOOGLE GAVE ME ONE. THIS 6 am I found a $25.00 on my checking account. Now I have paid out $444.00 for the same phone. So  I tried to call your customer service number a number of times #2 #5 # 0 and was  told to  leave a message. Well no responce. So If let this go and return 2 phones it is a restocking fee of $100.60.

This error came about on the internet not be able to get a confirmation number and  I can not reach anyone in customer service. No one on the phones---Are you still in business?. I am going to call the bank and let them know and see what  help that do to help me and try that way. Then I have to talk to my Verzon and see if they can help me. Needless to say with no one taking of this problem is bad customer relations on your part by not answering the phone. Nor do you have an answering phone that will accept and give confirmation that your even concerned to learn of my problem.

 My cart shows one phone not three. However there may be three different carts

 Thank you

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Mind you, this email was sent on a SUNDAY, when our office hours are clearly stated (we’re open mon-fri and close early on Fridays) in the automated system when you call in (not to mention our restocking fee is 20%, so it wouldn't have been that much at all...). Luckily, we saw the triple order and had out two of them on hold. After reading this email, I canceled two of them and replied back:

Subject: Re: Brought same phone 3 times

Dear Customer:

The extra two orders were already canceled and refunded.

Thank you,
Customer Service

Then I get this gem of a reply within 10 minutes of replying:

GREETINGS

 This has all been computer generated and seems that all is going to work itself out.  However you have a phone service which I called several times.  This is like making love with no kissing or forplay.  Really very upsetting to call in on several numbers and get no response and the problem all came about when I could not get confirmation regarding my ordering on the internet.  If you phone works for anytime at all and all is well you will benefit a great deal from me.  However do get a better way of answering your phone service.  Like thank you ever so much for calling and do trust us and our system for we have cut down on amount of employee's and use the generated automatic systems of email etc to better serve you.  Cutting down our overhead allows us to give you our customer a better price and quality product.  Thank you for your patience and please continue to trust us and our quality service.

 No more of this sexual type way of doing business without the kissing and foreplay.

 Thanks again and may God continue to bless your electronics

Just a Human Being

Crazy Ass Customer

FYI will let you know how this service works out [company name edited].  Brought a phone on the internet and found that my bank account was down $444.00 for a $139.99 purchase.  Phone is needed for my job duties and WOW what an experience.  However if this all works out I will give this company an excellent rating and recommendation.  Thanks everyone and have a great day and my God continue to bless you human being friends around the world.

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There were no words for this one…. Just laughter XD